“What have you gained from her?”
“Here on my heart, it looms ever so bright” (Tagore)

As I glanced through the wishes that get piled up in my inbox (of e-mails and WhatsApp) on the day of my retirement, I just saw a sweet comment from our beloved colleague and a long-time friend, Prof V. Suryanarayan. He reminded me that most of my good publications came out after retirement. And I also received many honours in the post retirement period. Spend more time with your wife and other members of your family and complete all projects that you have in mind. I showed Prof. Suryanarayan’s comment to Mini and she started crying. We have vivid memories of our association with him for long. His words carry meanings which have multiplying effects.

Teaching international relations (IR) has been the ‘macrocosm’ of my academic world for more than thirty-five years. Learning and engaging human relations (HR) has been the ‘microcosm’ of my life-world for a considerable length of time. This HR ‘microcosm’ has been made meaningful and productive by none other than Mini. She has been the prime mover of this macro-micro bridging expedition. We stood shoulder to shoulder in every moment of our journey—she was not just ‘behind everything’ as the conventional cliché would iterate.

I used to remind my colleagues in the University that a collective mindset of the academic life would be possible and meaningful if you set additional tracks of HR. The second track is surely of the families of the faculty members and the third track could be of our children. If the second and third tracks are vibrant and productive, whatever little bickering that we have amongst ourselves (mostly based on ego clashes or career related issues) could be easily sorted out and a healthy give and take academic life would be possible. I am proud that the IR School has been able to maintain this multi-track HR in the most constructive and practical way. We used to dine together, travel together, and gather together in every major academic event. Our children also maintained, over years, an upbeat relationship that is stable and enduring. Many academic institutions struggle to maintain internal cohesion due to the lack of HR within. Inter-personal relationships do matter in the making of a healthy social life on and off the campus.

 

adding a new charm to the lamp at her side

Mini has been a great source of fuel for good inter-personal relationships. Sociability is a crucial component of this cultural trait. I have seen her becoming a great inspiration to her own students, colleagues and friends in the KE School who sought her advice and help so frequently. I remember, many parents used to call her at odd times seeking help and ‘quick fix’ solutions. And several of them still keep calling her even after years of their leaving the institution. When I found her recovering good old friends (school mates and college mates) from the social media space several years back, I cannot but be a part of that process. I even envied her for the candid and straightforward approach in dealing with them. Without being a feminist, she knows how ‘personal is political.’ Over years, her friends have become a part of my life too (frankly speaking, I have not been able to maintain good relationship with my school mates and college/university mates, except a few. Most of my good friends are my students and researchers). Sociability and accessibility being the great virtues of a teacher, Mini does not have to worry about her life-world. Her amiability is amazing, adding a new charm to the lamp at her side. Those who cannot understand her cannot understand the worth of a bounteous heart. We travelled together in my “academic pilgrimages” too. She personally witnessed my ‘antics’ in places like Cambridge, Oxford, Singapore, Malaysia, UAE, Oman…in Delhi, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Bangalore, Mysore, etc. In international film and literary festivals, we were ‘partners in enjoyment’ in different ways.

 

My workaholic habits always found new meanings with her intermixing of music, and thereby erecting a exultant arch of life in the midst of elated tunes. With her care and easeful quietude, she used to, and can still, spread a deep shade around her…and Appu, Kunjunni and ‘Seekka’, as always, long for the ‘interventionist’ Mini narrative. Prof. Suryanarayan’s advice is worth recollecting day in and day out.